Special thanks to Bridal Tribe Wisdom for having me as a guest on their show and featuring a quote from the interview in their Winter 2014 Issue. Order your copy – http://shop.bridaltribe.com/Bridal-Tribe-Winter-2014-BTMW2014W.htm and tell me what you think!
He seems too good to be true… Like the kind of guy that women don’t think exist any more and here we are…
Doing the things that couples do, saying the things that couples say…
I look online and see so many women longing for what I have right before me yet they don’t think he exists…
But here HE is!
Of course, I should be jumping for joy. I should be elated that he’s here with me but…
The looming question that I want to ask is… “Why me??”
Not to sound neurotic or crazy or mildly (definitely not extremely) insane but you know how you just want to know how out of the millions of choices… How did he pick me out of all of those choices?
Although I’m not a Rick Ross fan (shocker), this song replays in my mind more often than I am actually comfortable admitting. But after reading the lyrics - http://www.metrolyrics.com/here-i-am-lyrics-rick-ross.html – I realized that it’s not the song but the concept that every super woman needs a super man that has stuck with me.
As a self-proclaimed super woman – minister, author, mom, entrepreneur, community person – I definitely need a super man in my life.
Yeah, I can say it… An ordinary man just won’t do for me. I want someone who will match my drive in business, someone who is intentional about investing time in his family, who wants to make a difference in his community AND who makes time for his relationship with God. Sounds like a lot? It is… hence the need for a super man.
I have noticed that a lot of people, not just men OR women, are complacent in life. And so many more are living their dreams through social media. They post about these uptopic situations but off-line aren’t doing anything to achieve the dreams they constantly promote.
I can’t be the only one who has noticed this.
With social media being the consistent point of reference many of us have for getting to know a person, we often see people living these super lives online and then you meet for dinner and actually start discussing life, goals and all that other important stuff only to find out that its all a dream. I’m not here to down the dreamers of the world but some people need the doers, the ones who aren’t afraid to leap from a tall building to start a business or to rush into traffic to get to their kids’ school on time.
So… what’s so great about super people being together? Being super is hard work! If you’re not with an overachiever, then you have someone in your ear saying, you don’t have to do all that, they’re meeting AGAIN, you’re doing too much when you really want to hear that everything is going to be ok, I’ve got the kids tonight, don’t pay any attention to the naysayers because you’ve got this. Super people can come home, take off their capes, remove the masks and let the insecurities hang out without fear of losing their super status.
I love the Marvel superheros but it always makes me kinda sad toward the end when they break up with their love interest at the end of the movie. These break ups happen because they know that super people and ordinary people can’t work. Dang, isn’t that harsh??? But think about it… Wouldn’t it be hard to commit to someone who is at home vegging out on reality tv while you’re trying to save the world?
Anyway, that’s my two cents… What do you think? Can a super woman/man find happily ever after with a mere mortal?
Feels like forever since I was over here sharing any thoughts but I think I had a case of writer’s block. In my mind, I wanted to write but there just weren’t any words.
This morning while drinking my coffee and thinking about different life situations, the saying, “time heals all wounds” came to mind. My immediate thought was, “not really.”
There are some wounds that time heals simply because they don’t run very deep and eventually you forget about them.
There are some wounds that can’t be healed by time because they run so deep until every time you touch them or the situation comes up, you are reminded of the hurt. Even though you may be able to forgive for the hurt, it just isn’t possible to forget.
Then there are those wounds that time can’t heal because we either nurse them and perpetuate the situation or we simply don’t want to be healed because we are comfortable with the hurt. I am sure some people will say that sounds crazy but the truth is sometimes our identities become attached to that thing or that situation that wounded us and to move past it would require that we find something else to attach ourselves to. You may not be in this situation but I’m sure you know someone who is. They have a problem or something happened to them and they are not willing to move past it. It is as if they have decided that they would rather live with the pain.
We also have those wounds that time simply does not have ability to heal. Those wounds that run so deep we can not find their beginning nor can we see their end.
There comes a time when you have to choose to become healed from your hurt. In many communities seeking professional help for depression or mental illness has a stigma attached to it therefore we have people who are battling issues and waiting for time to absorb them.
In my early twenties, I realized that it was time for me to heal. Fortunately, I had some amazing people in my life who were able to talk me through my issues and help me to find the source of the wound and essentially stop the bleeding. I didn’t even realize how deep my wounds were. I really thought that being unhappy and discontent with myself was a permanent disposition. I believed that having a mediocre life was ok. I can not honestly recount the number of letters I have written saying good-bye to my family because I felt like I was at the end of my life. I was trying to mask so much hurt from past wounds that I thought time would heal until my life didn’t even seem worth living.
It breaks my heart to think of all of the people who commit suicide because of similar feelings. I don’t think I would have ever intentionally ended my life but I do remember feeling like the black hole I was living in was so deep until it was just going to magically envelop me. From the outside looking in, I don’t think anyone thought anything was wrong with me. I seemed like a normal functioning person.
Here’s my point… there are some people in your life that are really struggling with their wounds. They may not look like it. They may not even act like it but the reality is that they are living in a black hole of sadness and despair. There may be a small window where they will come to you and want to talk, to open their wound a little to see if you have a bandage or some ointment to make it a little better. They don’t think you can heal them because they may not even believe healing is possible. They just want to feel a little better.
What will you do? Will you be too busy to listen? Will you tell them to get over it because everyone has problems?
My prayer is that you will simply listen and help them figure out what’s next. Their next may be seeking professional help and they may need you to help them take that next step. Their next may be confronting the source of their hurt. Whatever it is, listen to them and do whatever you can to help them.
I recently read a blog by a young lady and her friend had just committed suicide. She stated that she wished she had done more… It made me wonder how many times I had not done more to help someone who needed me to give them some ointment, to help them get some stitches or a professional bandage.
Let us not continue to believe that time heals all wounds and we see someone hurting, let’s try to help them…
My guest on this episode of The LaKesha Womack Show will be Brenda Parson. Brenda is the Founder and Owner of Volunteer2Serve&Give LLC and Brelyn Treats. Most of us have a limited amount of time and financial resources yet we want to be a blessing to those who are less fortunate than us. Brenda will share strategies with us about creative ways that we can use what we have to help others.
You can listen to the show live at 12p CST on Thursday, November 14 or visit http://blogtalkradio.com/LaKeshaWomack to listen at any time!
Brenda is the Founder and Owner of Volunteer2Serve&Give LLC and Brelyn Treats. Volunteer2Serve&Give is a Certified Volunteer President’s Service Award Organization. They are also an organization that gives back to the community and promotes volunteerism. Brelyn Treats is an online, Charlotte-based, small business that sells chocolate covered pretzels and marshmallow pops.
Brenda received the 2013 Volunteer Service of Excellence Award from the Philanthropy Committee at Wells Fargo. On September 7, 2013, the Mayor of Charlotte, NC issued a Proclamation honoring The Giving Boutique. Brenda was also recognized by Black Celebrity Giving as the ambassador for the city of Charlotte, NC. In November of 2012, Brenda was named the Volunteer Team Captain at the Democratic National Convention and in 2011 the Governor from the State of Alabama issued her a Commendation Letter for Volunteerism based on her service during the Disaster Relief when the tornado hit the city of Tuscaloosa, AL.
Connect with Brenda…