This business rocks… N’Sight Photography (@NSightPhoto)

People who really know me, know that I don’t like taking pictures.  Some think its because I’m too critical of my self, which is probably true, but the fact remains, I don’t take pictures and when I do, I’m reluctant to post them online.

A few years ago, a friend got married and I was in love with her wedding pictures.  I started following the photographer and knew that when my budget would allow, he had to be the man behind the camera.

One of my goals for this year was to begin rebranding my business.  I knew it was time to step up the images and it was a no brainer to call Neville Simpson, Owner/Photographer with N’Sight Photography.

He was so easy to work with!  Although some of the poses felt awkward, I trusted him because his images are like art.  He took his time to set up each pose, paying attention to what was behind me, beside me, how my hands, head and feet were positioned. In some shots, I would just hold my breath smiling until he told me I could move again.  I had high hopes for these pictures because I didn’t want to go through this ordeal again.

Fast forward about two weeks and I get the email that I had been waiting for… the proofs were ready to view.  I held my breath, once again, as I clicked through to get to the images.  They were good.  I was happy.

Fast forward another week… I wake up and my cell phone is going crazy!  I have Facebook alerts and inbox messages sending my phone into an early morning frenzy!  Neville had posted the pictures to an album and everyone loved them.  I am so appreciative to him for the hours he spent on the location, the shoot and the editing.  I wanted to channel a little bit of Olivia Pope’s style, Taraji Henson’s playfulness and Michelle Obama’s poise.  I feel pretty confident that he pulled that off.

If you need a photographer, contact Neville Simpson. He is an award winning professional who travels all over the world producing art through photography.

P.S.

Don’t forget to tell him that I sent you ;)

lakesha collage

Dresses by Tahari.  Shoes from ShoeDazzle.

Side Chick Consulting

Occasionally when looking at the stats on this site, I notice a spike in the site views.  Being curious, I go and check to see what my wonderful readers are searching for and what they love doesnt hurtare reading.

Imagine my surprise to find that on several occasions, readers have been searching variations of “side chick consulting” and “side chick consultant” to land at my site.  I have written about side chicks and I am a Consultant at a Consulting Company so I can see how Google would make the connection.  This is not the issue…

The burning questions in my mind are, “Why are people searching for a side chick consultant?” and “What do they expect to gain from side chick consulting?”

After speaking with a few friends, here are a few things they think side chick consulting prospects are seeking:

  1. Advice on how to handle the holidays when their boo thang is with his main thang
  2. How do I avoid having feelings for a man that I know will never be mine
  3. Strategies to make him leave his main chick
  4. Tips to prevent him from cheating once you become the main chick
  5. What should I do if I want to confront his other woman

I’m not sure the real reason people are actively searching for a Side Chick Consultant.  If you have some ideas, please share them because I am uber curious!

Link

Money Talk with LaKesha on She’s Royal Radio

Money Talk with LaKesha on She’s Royal Radio

Join me and my girl, LaKisha Mitchell, for a blogtalkradio show on Tuesday, July 8th at 8:30pm CST/ 9:30pm EST.

shes royal radio

LaKisha Mitchell is the host of She’s Royal Radio, an online station that will will inspire, empower and embrace the black community by discussing topics that affect us. Somewhere in this journey called life WE failed to educate the younger generation about the values and morals we were taught. It’s time for our Kings & Queens to return to the throne.

On this episode, we will be discussing money management and tips for saving.

Do you have questions about your personal or business finances?  Call in 347-857-1258 and ask your questions on the air.

If you prefer to ask privately, inbox me on my Facebook page -> http://facebook.com/MsLaKeshaWomack and your identity will remain anonymous.

Don’t forget to order your copy of My Money Matters on amazon.com today!  We have versions for Kids, Teens and Adults so the whole family can learn better and do better!

 

I’m about to leave you…

Sitting here trying to work and this song by Kandi comes on… “I’m about to leave you for someone who will do the things you wouldn’t do…”

Click to watch video!

Click image to watch video!

Oddly, the song made me giggle a little because I thought about a previous relationship that I was in and I guess the guy thought I should consider myself lucky to be with him and that he didn’t have to do the things to keep me that he did to get me…

Who hasn’t been there?

Anyway, it just reminded me of how liberated I felt when I decided that I was about to leave HIM and go find me someone who was willing to do all the things he wouldn’t do.  I see so many women who stay in relationships knowing that they are not getting what they deserve (emotionally especially because I don’t have time to deal with the all the ways women short change themselves financially in relationships) but in their twisted logic, they feel that a piece of a man is better than no man.

Here’s my thing about that… why are you wasting your time??? It becomes very obvious to us – men and women – when things start to go down hill but we often hang on hoping and praying that something is going to change.

I was dating a guy and pretty early on he called me with the “its not you, its me” conversation.  Although he was babbling about some nonsense issues he needed to work out, I appreciated the fact that he recognized my desire for something serious and his inability to provide that and instead of stringing me along; he had the guts to call and cut it off.

Life is too short to waste it pretending.  I know that many people are caught in that flux between “do I settle for less than what I really want” or “do I hold out for that elusive perfect person” and my advice…

Don’t be afraid to compromise.  There is no perfect person but there is someone who is perfect for you.  Before singing “I’m about to leave you” or standing your ground; think about the 80/20 rule from “Why did I get married?”  Are you being foolish hanging on to someone who is only giving you 20% or are you about to throw away your 80%?

In my first situation, I was only getting 20% and I knew that I couldn’t live like that.  But in the second, the guy was far from perfect but he was a good 80% and I would have stayed to try to make it work but when he wanted to call it quits that early, I knew there was not a point in begging him to reconsider because he had already checked out.

Anyway, I gotta get back to work…

A Ding in My Heart…

What happens when a closed heart opens up?

I wonder how many single people are out there asking, “where in the fudge is my happily ever after?”

How do you resist the temptation to pimp slap people who ask

- Why are you still single?

- What’s wrong with you?

- When are you getting married?

Why does it hurt so bad? Why do I feel so sad?

When will they finally accept that I am human too?

break_up_011

Yikes!!

All of that randomness just poured out but here is the point -> Some days, being single is the best thing in the world.  Some days, it just flat out sucks!! Ironically, the day you break up with the person you thought you were building a future with, is one of those days when it really sucks.

**warning: don’t read too much into my writing, some days i write based on (real and imagined) emotions…

Success Secret #43: I’m becoming the person I want to be…

This may sound strange for some but for many, you are doing the victory dance with me!

For so many years, I struggled with liking me.  I struggled with accepting the person that I am because I thought I wasn’t enough.  It wasn’t the critiques or comments from others that created my insecurities but my own negative self talk.  I would look around at other people and pick parts of their lives that I thought should fit into mine.

If I had a man like him, I would be happy.

If my hair looked like that, I would be happy.

If I lived in a house like that, I would be happy.

If I could buy all the clothes I want, I would would be happy.

If I drove that car, I would be happy.

If I had more money, my life would be perfect.

I wish I could tell you how many years, I spent on this mental rollercoaster of internal anxiety.  It was exhausting!  I was never satisfied because all I could see in my life was all the things that needed fixing.

This part is going to sound really strange… I was on a call recently and the moderator asked the group how they dealt with insecurities and inadequacies.  I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts in case I was selected to speak and it hit me…

I got over it! [insert another victory dance]

I quit reading all the self help blogs, articles and books.  I quit looking for answers to my “problems” because I realized that I wasn’t broken.  We have this misconception that life is supposed to be perfect and that everyone is supposed to like us and that all things are supposed to be great all of the time but they aren’t and they never will be.  We see every problem in our lives as an obstacle to our happiness instead of a part of the process.

Some people think I’m arrogant or stuck up because I don’t walk around broken and defeated.  They think I think I’m all of that because I walk with my head held high, shoulders back and confidently placing one six inch stiletto clad foot ahead of the next.  It’s not because my life is perfect or because I have everything figured out.  I decided to get over myself and stop dwelling in my deficiencies.

All that I am not makes me all that I am…

Somewhere along the journey I developed a relationship with God and in every place where I feel weak, inadequate, insecure or beat down; he has allowed me to lean on him and draw from his strength.  I no longer feel like I need the STUFF to make me happy.  I don’t need the approval of other people to validate my decisions.  My happy place is simply doing good for others, being good to myself and seeing the good all around me.  I don’t see my life as an incomplete puzzle that’s always missing the final piece to become complete.  My life is more like a never ending game of Jenga - it has its high moments where all the pieces come together and the low moments where all the pieces crumble – and I’m ok with both.

I will never arrive…

In the title I declared that I am BECOMING the person I want to be because I realized that perfection is not attainable.  All of the pieces won’t ever fit neatly together.  Social media has distorted our concept of happiness because we spend so much time looking at the highlight reels from other people’s lives through their tweets, Facebook posts and Instagram pictures until we forget that there is actually life to be lived.  Outside the few moments captured in virtual time, there are the real everyday ebbs and flows, hills and valleys of life and you can’t think that one day its all going to be smooth sailing because it won’t. In my mind, the arrival at perfect peace is death and I’m in no hurry to get there.

key-to-happiness

I found the keys to my happiness.

  1. My relationship with God.  I can do all things through Him when I am in line with His will.  I surrendered my life to be a living testimony of God’s ability to do miraculous things.  I try to focus on asking for nothing but wanting to give everything.
  2. I learned to love unconditionally.  I stopped wanting people to be anything other than who they are.  Not everyone has a place in my life.  I can love some people up close but some have to be loved from afar but I refuse to allow any negative feelings about anyone to dwell in my spirit.  I forgave everyone who has hurt me, especially those who never apologized.
  3. I realized that being the person I wanted to be was simply a matter of doing the things that she would do… 

I hope and pray that you find your keys too!

Order your copy of Success Secrets for the Young and Fabulous today.  It features profiles of nine professional young adults who share how they found their keys to success.  Available on Amazon.com

Aside

Should You Take Action to #BringBackOurGirls?

What happens when one United States Ambassador and a diplomat are killed in Benghazi – a two-year probe and continuous headline news stores

What happens when a wealthy professional sports team owner says racial slurs off the record – banned from his team and league for life

What happens when 200 Nigerian school girls are kidnapped and reportedly sold as brides to Islamic Boko Haram militants – two weeks of social media protests before the story starts to make headline news

Image

Image from that1960chick.com

 

There may be little that the United States government can do in this situation, however, we have to take a close look at the focus of our media.  Media is driven by ratings.  Similarly, my blog is driven by statistics.  Although there are issues that I want to write about, and sometimes do, I am learning to pay attention to the stats and give my readers what they want to read. (Oddly, the top topics for you all seem to be sex, relationships, dating and communication but that’s another blog)

Our media focuses on what’s going to generate ratings.  Even our government officials focus on the issues that poll well with voters.  We wonder why all we hear about is celebrity drama… Well, that’s what people are tuning in to because they think world news is boring… Until (and let’s be honest) something like this Nigerian situation comes up and someone creates a cool hashtag that makes us feel like we are contributing to this great political cause.  The truth is.. there are situations like this occurring around the globe every day.  As Americans we have the luxury to pick and choose which events we will rally behind and spend the rest of our time debating whether Kenya or Porsha (from the Real Housewives of Atlanta) should be arrested for their ratchetness before mortgaging our first child for a pair of Beyonce and Jay Z tickets.

At what point will we wake up and become politically active – not just on social media – but really start to take an interest in world affairs, our government and the issues that our elected officials are focusing on?  We have the right to not ask, but demand, that they make our interests their interests or else get voted out during the next election cycle.  You may not care that Nigerian school girls are being sold for $12 each as brides to soldiers but if you do, step past posting cool pictures on your social media pages and contact your Senator or House Representative and demand that they make an official statement supporting your concerns.  You may have another cause that’s dear to your heart, contact your elected official and let them know how you feel.  Our democratic government is of the people, by the people and for the people (Abraham Lincoln).  How much longer will we allow a politician to continue serving in their own self interests (and those of the lobbyist funding them) without holding them accountable to speaking out on the issues that concern us.

Want to contact your elected official?  Visit http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml to get their contact information

Want to start a petition to support your cause (no matter how big or small)? Visit http://moveon.org and get the people you know involved