LaKesha Womack

Archive for the tag “Children”

24 Mar 2012

No Birth Control + No Abortions = No Sex

I am really curious how our conservative law makers envision this equation computing.  If you throw in their desires to reduce or eliminate federal assistance programs such as food stamps; you have to wonder what type of America they see in our future.

First, if they want to ban or make it more difficult for women to have access birth control; do they believe that this is going to aid in our population control? We are society that currently consumes more than we produce so it seems to me that not having viable methods of family planning would lead to more children being conceived  by people who may not be able to take care of them.

Once you take away the option to terminate a pregnancy, for whatever reason a person chooses… And let’s take a side step on this subject for a moment.  Most of the advocates against abortion have this belief based on their religious values.  However, in 1 Corinthians 4: 4-5 Paul clearly explains “It is the Lord who judges me.  Therefore judge nothing before the appointned time; wait till the Lord comes.  He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts.”  As our elected government officials, their jobs are not to stand as our moral judges rather to ensure that we have a system that guarentees life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  They do not have the right to define what that means to each of us rather they should ensure it for all of us.  Whether a woman chooses to terminate a pregnancy or not should be a decision between her, her doctor and God; regardless of how we feel about it.  Back to my original point, so we no longer have the right to terminate pregnancies nor do we have reasonable access to birth control.  What happens to all of those babies that have been conceived in circumstances where the parents are unwilling or unable to care for the child?

This makes me wonder if these law makers assume that no birth control and no abortions will mean that people will stop having sex.  That they will stop engaging in the act that creates life.  Somehow, I believe this is highly unlikely.  Not only are these laws dangerous because in many instances birth control is used for medicinal reasons other than family planning and because many women have to terminate pregnancies for reasons other than them not wanting the child, but these laws are dangerous to our economy.

Let’s think for a second about their postion on welfare.  They want less people to receive federal assistance such as the programs that aid with providing food for many families and recieving access to medical benefits.  Ok, so we now have a system that discourages family planning under the assumption that people are going to exercise self control (knowing that we are not a society that has mastered that skill) and we are going to make it difficult for the people who are already struggling  financially to gain access to assistance.

My prediction… an increase in orphans.  The short sightedness of the leaders is almost criminal because they are not thinking past their own judgemental beliefs.  Ok, you are against contraceptives.  Ok, you think abortions are morally wrong.  Ok, our governement is too large and we can’t afford all of our social services.  However, to take all three off the table or hide them under the table means that you are going to have people creating lives that they did not want and/or can not afford to take care of.  Do they think these people will simply pull up their boot straps and make a way?  Some will.  But there are many who will  not.  My question is who will take care of the unwanted children.  We already have foster care systems clamoring to find parents to take in children.  Will we leave it to the adoption agencies to take this child from this home and put it in that home, as long as its not a same sex home?

I believe these laws are not only intrusive in regards to our personal lives but for a party that claims they want smaller government and that the government should allow the free economic market to work itself out, they seem hell bent on intruding into our personal lives rather than regulating existing industries that allow people to plan for families using whatever method they feel morally comfortable with.  And I will even go out on a limb and suggest that the time spent debating these issues could be time spent focused on improving our economy so that more people have jobs.  If you want to stop people for having sex and making babies, put them to work so that they don’t have time to procreate.

What do you think?  Am I totally reaching with this argument?  Should our government serve as our moral regulators?

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18 Mar 2011
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I’m a proud mama… for the third time!

Today, I welcomed home my newest bundle of joy…

I remember the day I gave birth to my son.  I couldn’t imagine my heart filling with any more joy than I felt at that moment.  Becoming a mother had always been a distant thought in my mind but the reality was so much more than words can describe.  My heart almost exploding seeing this little bundle of joy that I created.  However, there were so many questions racing through my mind.  Would I know how to take care of another person?  What if I dropped him (I never did)?  How would I know what he wanted when he cried?  How would I teach this little boy to become a man?

Giving birth to my second “baby” was just as overwhelming but in a different way.  Do you ever feel like you know you can do something but you are either afraid to step out and do it or just keep putting it off because it seems too big to accomplish?  That’s how I felt.  I wanted to publish my book but I was scared.  What if no one bought it?  What if it sucked?  What if people laughed at me?  I kept moving forward with the project but I was nervous.

You would think that by the time I was ready to publish my second book/”third baby” that I would be less nervous because I had been there and done that but this experience brought a different set of fears.  In this project, I invited nine people that I admire greatly to participate.  What if they said no?  What if they thought the idea was stupid?  I was blessed to receive positive feedback on the first project,  but what if people responded negatively to this one?

Success Secrets for the Young & Fabulous

I liken publishing a book to giving birth because it is like sharing a part of you with the world, taking something that has been growing inside of you and releasing it to world.  No matter what others think or say, its your baby.  You love it, protect it and want nothing but the best for it.  You want the rest of the world to love it as much as you do but no matter what; when you look at it, you know all of the blood, sweat and tears that went into its production.

Regardless of what you try to accomplish in life, there will be fears.  You will have questions.  You will have doubts.  Don’t give up. Always continue to push forward.  Your dreams are your babies.  Don’t be ashamed to give them all of your love.  Nurture them to be successful and don’t be upset if no one else in the world loves them as much as you.

God has a plan for each of us and you have everything within you necessary to be successful.  Believe in God and believe in yourself then do the work be the best person you can be.

Thanks for showing my “babies” some love…

Posted in Reflections and tagged , , , , , , , , ,
08 Nov 2010
1 Comment

Single Parents & Dating with Kalonji Gilchrist

This week’s “Late Night with LaKesha” will feature guest co-host Kalonji Gilchrist.  Our topic will be “Single Parents and Dating.”

Most single parents can tell you that dating is a challenge.

You want to have companionship with someone but what do you do with your kids?  How soon is too soon to introduce your “friend” to your kids?  If you do it too soon and the relationship ends, how do you explain it to the kids?  If you wait too long, what if they don’t get along with your kids?

And let’s not even get into the dreaded sleep over… What do you tell kids the first time you have an “adult sleepover”?  Of course, while you’re dealing with morning after issues, so will they…

On the flip side, if you’re single and don’t have kids, how do you deal with someone who does?  What do you think about dating someone who doesn’t take care of their kids?  What if they want you to meet their kids and you’re not ready?

Let’s not forget about dealing with baby mama/daddy drama…

Yep, the list goes on and on.  Don’t forget to share your questions and/or comments with us.

  • Tweet us your questions using #LNWL
  • Submit a comment or question below
  • Comment on the BlogTalkRadio homepage
  • Email me at contact@LaKeshaWomack.com

Join Kalonji and I as we answer your questions as well as address a few of our own.  Tune in Tuesday, November 9 from 10p until 1030p on http://blogtalkradio.com/lakeshawomack

About Kalonji Gilchrist…

slicKGilchrist

“Pretty simple, slightly complicated”

Slickster (as I affectionately call him) is a native of Montgomery, Alabama.  He was the first born alpha male on both sides of his family.  He is an aficionado of the fine arts, including theater, written and spoken word.  Also, a multimedia digerati that still enjoys the culture of the renaissance era and the urban life.  He’s an old soul, visionary, God-fearing man of a few talents and two beautiful daughters.

 

http://twitter.com/slicKGilchrist

http://facebook.com/KGilchrist

http://slicKGilchrist.com

 


Posted in Late Night with LaKesha Guests and tagged , , , , , , , ,
20 Sep 2010

Teach your children the value of life

When I was growing up, I didn’t have a choice as to whether I went to church on Sunday mornings.  I am a woman of Christian faith so if you don’t share my faith, please excuse this post.  Anyway, I didn’t really get what the church thing was about but I knew that on Sunday mornings, I would be in someone’s church.

As I got older, the church leaders began doing more “stuff” with me and I began learning more about God.  I am noticing the same trend with my son. One of the first things that they teach you is “Jesus loves you” and then a host of things build upon that principle.  In the mildest way possible, they begin to recant stories from the bible about Christian sacrifice, the laws of the land and loving your neighbors.

I didn’t always understand the importance of these lessons until recently.  I have an (unproven) theory about teenage violence.  I don’t think enough children has a  foundation of faith therefore they don’t know the value of human life.  This theory is slightly more complicated than I can articulate in any reasonable length but the gist of it is, many parents are not grounding their children in faith (doesn’t have to be Christianity or religious faith) but children are growing up without a moral foundation to base their decisions therefore they are liable to do anything.  Without a moral compass as a guide, how do you know what is right or wrong?  In our “feel good” society, we encourage each other and often ourselves to just do whatever feels good at the moment.

Think about this… if you have something that is a precious gem but no one ever tells you what it is worth, how likely are you to treasure it?  Not all teenage violence can be solved using this theory but most people grounded in a rational amount of faith, not fanatical, seek to do good in the world rather than cause harm.  They seek to make the world a better and kinder place.  They think about solutions to problems rather instead of ways to magnify a situation with more unrest.

Many times we take for granted that children will just know some things because it seems like common sense.  Guess what?  They only things they know are the things that we teach them.  If we don’t talk to them about how important they are to us and how important other children are to their parents, then there is no guarantee that they will intuit that information.  We have to make conscious effort to let them know that not only are they loved by us but that other people matter in the world regardless of whether they think, act, talk, look or even smell like us.

It pains my heart to see children being disrespectful to older people.  I just love old people because I was raised by my grandparents but there are some children that will talk back to the elderly, disrespect them and even curse at them.  This is not a problem because they should show more respect to the elderly but it shows the value they have for the lives of others.

You may not take your children to church every Sunday to instill a moral foundation in them but make sure that you are teaching the value of life.  It is not about material items, self satisfaction and instant gratification but loving your neighbor, treating others as you would like to be treated and giving more that you receive.

Posted in Tales for the (mommy) hood and tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment
15 Sep 2010

Reflections: Attending boarding school

When I was in elementary school, I was identified as a “gifted” student.  They tested certain children who demonstrated a love of learning at an early age and if their IQ levels were a certain level, they became a part of the Gifted Program. I have heard of similar programs at various high schools and appreciate whoever had the foresight to establish such a program.

The experience was very rewarding because for about an hour per week, I was able to embrace my inner nerd with other nerds.  In a normal public school, being a nerd is not the title to strive for.  I felt fortunate to be able to walk the tight rope between one of the “cool” kids and one of the nerds.  I think I was just cool with everyone, for the most part.

Throughout elementary, middle and junior high school; I felt fairly confident that my balancing act was a success. High school was a whole new world.  You would think that as you get older and have known people for years that your relationships would become stronger.  This, for some reason, is not the case in high school.  I felt like the people who were supposed to be my friends ending up becoming the ones to betray me and talk about me the most.  I became less concerned about them than I was about myself.  I have been fairly goal oriented most of my life but I realized that my high school was not giving me what I needed to feel challenged and prepared to achieve my goals.  I found myself spending more time trying to fit in than trying to learn something.

In 1989, the Alabama Legislature created a public boarding school for students who excelled in math and science.  The school, the Alabama School of Mathematics and Science, is located in Mobile AL.  At the time, it housed students in the 11th and 12th grades and recruited teachers from around the state who had a passion for teaching.  Many of them were former college professors and they treated us as such.  The process of becoming admitted to the school was much like a college process, which included applications, essays, standardized test scores and recommendations.

My mother was not enthused about me going away from home at such as young age but I convinced her that I just wanted to apply and see if I could in.  I still can’t believe she fell for that.  Anyway, I got in and the next thing I knew, I was packing up and leaving home at the age of 16.  Unlike most 16 year olds who were looking forward to dating and driving to school every day, I was now locked away (yes, we were locked up for our safety) at a nerd fest and I loved it.  I had finally found a place where I could be as smart as I wanted to be and there were almost 200 other overachievers who shared my passion for learning, for challenging themselves and for thinking outside of the box.  The teachers were amazing because they didn’t just do enough to get us to graduation, they challenged us on every level to do more than many of us probably ever imagined.

The experience was also very humbling.  At my home high school, I was considered one of the smart kids, but ASMS had pulled almost all of the top students from throughout the state into one place and it was at that point that I realized how much I didn’t know.  I was ok with that because I also realized that I didn’t like math or science as much as I thought I did.  Fortunately, there were a multitude of electives to choose from.  My favorite classes, as you can probably guess, were the English classes.  We were writing on a college level in the 11th grade and having philosophical discussions that spanned beyond the normal classroom experience that I was used to.

Many parents are hesitant to send their children away to a boarding school, not because the child isn’t ready, but often because the parent doesn’t want to let go.  I am so thankful that my parents gave me the wings to soar and become my own person.  When I started my freshman year at Vanderbilt, I didn’t go through many of the anxieties that most first year students feel because I was already used to being away from home, I had great study habits (we had mandatory study hours for two hours every night) and I knew how to make friends with people other than those that I had spent my entire life around.

Attending the School of Math and Science was one of the best decisions that I ever made.  It helped to shape the person that I am today, not only intellectually but socially and civicly.  I learned so much about myself at an early age and was given the opportunity to explore all that my mind was able to conceive.  If your child has the opportunity to participate in a program like this and they have the aptitude for success, don’t hold them back because of your fears.  Give them the chance to try something new and different.  You have no idea what they may be going through at their home high school and a change of environment could change their life.

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