LaKesha Womack

Archive for the tag “Life”

16 Jun 2012

it’s not always good news…

Most of us try to live life on the good side but at some point we must confront the bad stuff that happens. One of the joys of the human experience is our ability to continue to believe in the goodness of this world despite all of the evil that surrounds us.

Over the past couple of weeks I have found myself in situations praying for good news…

Twin nine-year olds missing from a local town and their picture was circulated by the news and online media as we prayed for their safe return

A friend texts me to say one of her friends is on life support after suffering internal bleeding because of a domestic violence incident with her boyfriend.  We prayed to God for her physical and mental healing

In both of these experiences, I tried not to think of the negative outcome that could result.  Instead, I felt comfortable believing that God would answer our collective prayers and the twins would return home while this young lady would leave the hospital with the strength to confront her boyfriend and move forward in her life passed this situation.

However, that’s not what happened.  The twins were found dead on the side of a dirt road along with their elderly caretaker and the young lady died several days after being admitted to hospital.

Many of us have to reconcile these events within the context of our spiritual selves.  Why didn’t God answer our prayers?  The Bible says that the prayers of the righteous have power (James 5:16) so we sometimes wonder why our prayers aren’t answered. How can these innocent children be killed and tossed aside like bags of trash?  How could this young lady’s life be cut short because of foolish love?  Where is God in the midst of these situations?

I stand firm on the promise of eternal life (1 John 2:25).  Many of us are concerned with the effects of life here on Earth but believers in Christ have to stay focused on the real prize, eternal life.  No one is too old or too young to confess their sins and accept Christ as their Savior.  It is no longer enough for us to believe but we need to ensure that those around us believe and believe with all of their heart because none of us know the day nor the hour that we will be called to meet our Savior.

Situations will happen in life and we cannot always be certain that we will hear good news of a child’s safe return or that a friend will suffer will survive a catastrophic accident, so it is up to us to us to answer the call of the Great Commission  (Matthew 28:16-20) and teach them the ways of Christ so that no matter what happens, we can feel some level of assurance that despite anything they may go through, God is with them.  That is the only confront that I have when thinking of the final moments of these innocent twins wondering what is happening to them and why… when thinking of the young lady who must have spent her final moments thinking over her life and all of things she would probably do differently…

Image from dailybibleplan.com

Don’t forget…

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11 Jun 2012

The power of your words…

Recently, I was conducting a workshop for a group of youth and the conversation turned to bullying and talking about people.  We began discussing how they felt when they were picked on and reasons they picked on other people.  Most of them said that it didn’t bother them but as we dug deeper, they began to acknowledge their true feelings about the things that their peers said about them.  They even began to understand how their words might affect those around them.

I reached a realization, as well… Not many of us understand the power of our words.  We use words so carelessly sometimes without realizing that those words are often replayed in the mind of the person they were spoken to, regardless of how many times you may apologize, you cannot take those words back.

You’re ugly.

You’re stupid.

You’re never going to be anything.

You’re clothes are ragged.

The kids admitted to saying some of these things in jest to their friends without realizing the power of their words.  It is even more heart breaking to hear a parent say negative things to their children.  Can you imagine your parent telling you that you won’t ever amount to anything?  That is a reality that many children are living with.

Many people who have this negative playlist in their head are able to overcome… Overcome… overcoming anything is hard.  When I think of overcoming, I think of a struggle, almost a battle within myself like the ultimate fight between good and evil.  Who will prevail… the good thoughts that I want to have about myself or all of the negative things that people say about me?

Let us for a second imagine that our words have the power to heal…

Do you believe that your words having healing power?

No, I’m not talking about the ability to heal a physical ailment or to speak cancer out of someone’s body but you have the power to heal someone spiritually or emotionally.  Imagine each day that you see a child, you tell that kid how great they are.  Imagine every time you talk to your friend, you tell him/her that you know they are going to do something great in their life.  Your positive words have the power to drown out some of the negative self-talk that many people hear as well as to take out of rotation some of the negative things that others have said.

You look beautiful.

You are amazing.

You are destined for greatness.

Thank you.

I see so many people posting affirmations on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest… a part of me wonders if they are posting to affirm others or if it’s an attempt to drown out some of the negative thoughts that are prevailing within their minds because sometimes you have to speak encouragement to yourself.  You cannot always rely on someone else to do it for you.  Sometimes you have to give your own words more power in your life than the words of others.

Wordle: The power of words...

I left the kids with this challenge…

If your friends decided to clean house today and remove all of the people from their lives that were not lifting them up, being a blessing to them, encouraging them… Would you make the  list?

Some of us need to ask the same thing.  Are we being a blessing to those around us or are we bringing them down with our constant complaining, gossiping about others and negative comments about the world around us?

Want to read more about “Living Young & Fabulous”?

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08 Jun 2012
2 Comments

Success Secret #42… Timing is everything

Being surrounded by greatness has many advantages…

You have inspiration to push you further, you have resources to make the journey a little easier and most importantly you have confirmation that achieving your dreams is possible.

On the other hand, being surrounded by greatness can present a challenge…

The other day a friend and I were talking about all of the great people in our networks and all of the great things that they are accomplishing.  Neither of us feel that we are where we want to be, even though we are where we are supposed to be (Success Secret #10).  It can become a little frustrating to see other people where you want to be.  Some people would consider it jealousy but I don’t think it’s jealousy if you are able to be truly happy for the other person while wanting the same things in your own life.

However, we have to remember Success Secret #42… Timing is everything.

Most of the time we have no idea how many years of work and preparation it took for the other person to get where they are.  We have no idea how much or what they had to sacrifice  to get where they are.

Does that mean that you sit back and wait for your time to come?  Heck no!  It means that you keep working and pursuing your dreams so that you are prepared for the successes that you are striving for.

Many people only achieve 15 minutes of fame because when their time to shine comes, they haven’t done the work to create a solid foundation in their personal or professional lives to handle the long-term success that they dreamed of.

For example, you say you want to be married but you haven’t dealt with the issues in your past that won’t allow you to have a successful, lifelong union.  Quit focusing on finding a mate and focus on becoming the person that someone will want to spend the rest of their life with.

Or you want your business to be featured in a major magazine or on a popular radio show but you don’t have the support staff in place to handle an influx of business.  Stop wanting to be at the top and if you still need to work on the building blocks in your foundation.

Success is not the destination rather it is a journey.  No matter how many goals many of us achieve, we will still look for the next challenge.  Don’t get caught up in trying to get “there” rather focus on continuing to push forward and savor each milestone achieved along the way.

Success Secrets for the Young & FabulousWant to read more of my “Success Secrets”?

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06 Jun 2012

Is your relationship built on chemistry or chaos?

Have you ever been (or are you now) in one of those relationships where the chemistry is more like chaos?

I remember dating a guy who was the total opposite of me… he wasn’t a planner, didn’t have any long-term goals, had a really casual attitude about life. Yes, I am the opposite of that… I plan for almost every scenario, I have goals (immediate, short-term, intermediate, long-term) and I enjoy life but I take it pretty seriously because I want to maximize my time on earth.

Anyway, while we were dating it seemed like our differences fueled many passionate discussions, which could later be looked upon as arguments. I tried to look past our differences and rationalized them to be the chemistry that kept us together, after all opposites attract, right?

Not always… I have seen some relationships held together by the chaos of each person’s differences but they also rationalized the arguments to be a part of their chemistry. But I wonder, does it take all of that to coexist? If you are so different until it creates arguments or constant disagreement then how stable is your relationship?

For some of us, it is important to take a step back and ask ourselves if the chaos is making us stronger or driving a wedge between us. Although you may not like the answer, it’s a question worth asking. When I was in this situation, I had to realize that the main reason I was hanging on was because I was ready to get married and thought no matter how different we were, I could find a way to deal.

Whoa!!

If you are in a relationship and telling yourself that you will find a way to look past this and that or that this thing doesn’t really matter then you are as delusional as I was. I think a solid relationship is built on general chemistry. Does that mean that you will agree about everything? No! But it means that those differences draw you closer and you learn from one another. His/her weakness could be your strength and you trust each other enough to reveal those weaknesses while relying on the other’s strengths.

Doing that requires…

  • Communication – not just you talking and the other person listening but both of you talking and both of you listening
  • Trust – that’s a tough one because a lot of us (including me) have trust issues, we have been let down so many times in the past until we are afraid to let go and trust but if you are working on something solid, you have to be able to trust
  • Honesty – it is essential that you are able to believe the words coming out of the other person’s mouth, you also have to stop frontin’ and be honest about who you really are…
  • Compromise – when the relationship is good, no one thinks about winning and losing because if one is losing then you both are and the same is true for winning, you should be with a person who doesn’t view the relationship as a competition rather a partnership

I hope these tips helped you think about whether your relationship is built on chemistry or chaos (Bonus: if it is built on chaos, you don’t have to break up, start communicating in an honest way to build trust and learn to compromise but remember it takes two…)

Want more relationship advice from me?

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29 May 2012
8 Comments

At the end of the road…

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, work for it, pray about it or want it; things just don’t work out.

Everyone can tell you to just get over it, to just move on… they use “just” as if that makes it any easier.  But as you stand there at the end of the road, looking ahead knowing that nothing more lies ahead, that even though you want to blaze a trail forward, it will be futile, there is a temptation to look back at where you have come from and wonder if you could have done some things differently.  You may even be tempted to go back and try to make some changes, to try to produce a different outcome.

What am I talking about?

This applies to relationships, situations, professional decisions.  Actually, it can apply to any area of our life.

Many of us find ourselves in positions where we have reached the end of the road and that isn’t where we imagined we would be.  After all, conventional wisdom tells us these days that we can do anything.  That God will grant us whatever we want as long as we believe and pray.  That we will achieve any success as long as we work hard enough for it.  But deep down we all know that isn’t true.  Some goals, no matter how much we want them, pray for them and work toward them; will never be realized.

To me one of the cool things about reaching the end of the road is not looking forward into the abyss or turning back to retrace my steps (which inevitably gets me back to this place) but looking left and looking right knowing that I have other options.

Sometimes we get so focused on pushing forward or going backwards until we fail to realize that we have other options.

So things didn’t work out with this relationship, do you stick with it knowing you are at the end of the road or do you turn back and try to do things differently with the same person?  What about the options on your left and your right? (Relationship note: you can’t travel on this road and explore your options, you need to make a choice.)

So this job situation isn’t going the way that you want.  Do you focus on the darkness ahead?  Do you constantly look back at what could have been?  Or do you start roadmapping some options to your left and to your right? (Professional note: be wise and have your next trip planned before you announce you’re getting off this road.)

You may need to stand and look ahead for a few minutes to grasp the finality of your current situation.  Why not take a few seconds to look back to see how far you have journeyed to get to this place? You may even need to stand there as you decide whether to travel left or right but the important lessons are…

  1. Acknowledge where you are.  Stop trying to pretend that your situation is something that it isn’t.
  2. Look back just long enough to figure out how you got where you are so that you don’t make those same mistakes again.  But don’t get stuck in reverse.  You cannot relive your past, however if you don’t take the time to learn the lessons from your past mistakes then the probability is high that you will make them again.
  3. Forget about trying to change the past and focus on changing your future.  Everything that you have been through has created the person that you are and you should not want to change that.  However, don’t feel like you have to be defined by that person.  Every day that we are alive is a chance for a fresh start.  So often we allow others to define us by where we have been instead of us defining ourselves by where we are going.
  4. Know that life is full of options.  Sometimes we feel stuck and think that we don’t have any other options because all that we see ahead is the end of the road but that isn’t true.  We fail to acknowledge those options because most of the time they require us to change, to start doing something different.  Turning left or right means changing direction, not continuing down the same road we are used to traveling.

Lately, I have reached the end of the road with a lot of situations.  No matter how hard I tried to salvage them, there was nothing more that I could do.  That’s a hard pill to swallow because it is often masked as failure.  We think that by giving up on something that we want so badly that we are failing.  We are not meant to always reach the destination that we envision, sometimes we are just meant to make the journey and learn some lessons along the way.

Read more of my Success Secrets on this blog…

Order your copy of Success Secrets for the Young & Fabulous…

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