You got her … but can you keep her?
My grandma once told me not to start doing anything for a man that I was not prepared to continue doing. I wonder how many grandparents shared this same wisdom with their grandsons?
A friend and I were recently talking about a guy she had just started to date. She confessed that when he was trying to get a date with her, he would bring her lunch to work and buy flowers and chocolates for no reason. However, once she gave him the ok to begin dating, all of that stuff came to screeching halt. Now that he “had” her, he didn’t feel the need to woo her any longer. Sadly, their romance only lasted about a month. Once she realized that he wasn’t willing to continue to do the things he started doing, she was no longer interested in seeing him.
I can see this situation from both sides…
I’m sure he felt that he had wooed her and now it was time to settle into something more meaningful. After all, what woman really wants all of that romance stuff on a regular basis? He was ready to move on to sitting on the couch watching movies, having regular dinners together and just co-existing.
She, on the other hand, felt like the person she was initially attracted to had disappeared. It had been a while since someone had romanced her and that was the attraction. Guys wanting to sit around and stare in her face were a dime a dozen but flowers, lunches and chocolates were a rarity and that’s what made him different.
I have noticed guys doing all kinds of things trying to woo a woman when they know that they can’t keep up the show for the long term. My advice is to start small and build up rather than pulling out all of the stops and dropping down to a slow roll. The same is true for women. Don’t go all out trying to get someone when you know you can’t sustain that level of interest or activity. It’s not fair to the other person because whatever you start out doing is probably what they will fall for and come to expect from you. If you stop doing those things or being that person, is it fair to expect them to have the same feelings for you?
